What to expect when you’re NOT expecting: pregnancy paranoia. 

Better late than pregnant

I have been married for  four months, almost five. It has been a wonderful four months, with just me, my husband, and our fur baby King. Contrary to popular belief in our families, we want to wait a few years before we expand our family (speaking of strictly non-furry members…we definitely are getting another dog soon). Every time I feel sick, am a day off on my ‘time of month’, or start to feel slightly different than normal, I immediately think that my birth control has failed me, and I only have 9 months to complete everything I want to do before a tiny human consumes my life (which will be wonderful when it happens- just not anytime soon). Example- last week I stayed home from work one day because I felt sick, so I took a pregnancy test which only confirmed my pregnancy paranoia: there’s no bun in this oven. Being someone that decided to save sex for marriage, I am not used to the idea that I could be pregnant! Right after I got married, I asked my mom if married life consists of taking pregnancy tests every 2 weeks to make sure it’s alright to have some coffee in the morning and drinks after work. She looked at me like I was crazy, but how could I not feel this way? There’s no stork that delivers a tiny basket. Sex leads to babies if you don’t take the correct precautions- and sometimes even if you do!

Before picking my birth control (the NuvaRing, AKA my ‘ring of power’), I did a little bit of research. On almost every reviewing website, there were horror stories about the side effects or failures of women’s birth control. I realize it is not 100% effective, so in my usual cynical thought process- I assume I will be in the small percentage that ends up with a ‘surprise’. Of that small percentage that accidentally gets pregnant, I am sure that most of them would now say it was a blessing and would never change their family. Being on the side of the coin where birth control has been effective for me, I would very much like to keep it that way.

At this point, I am (obviously) still paranoid about pregnancy, but am hoping that this feeling fades. Although, I assume that as soon as the anxiety passes, I will start wanting children. That’s usually how life works. But until I am ready for that journey, I will continue to raise my fur baby King. I have the same feeling about King as Ronald Reagan had about his cats: “It’s like having children, but there is no tuition involved.”



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